The Spring That Wasn't

So, as my last post was more than six months ago I'm officially not a blogger rather I'm an autocratic spinner of personal propoganda, who speaks with the public only when he's feeling unloved and out of toutch (very different from your loyal, die-hard knee-top pugilist.)

Anyway, so I'm pleased the summer's here, such as it is, and I'm telling myself sweet nothings about becoming productive with my new laptop(no courses for now, though I've undertaking 'Tomatis Method" lessons, also known as "Singing with the ear.") I returned from another round of therapy; it got the job done in that I don't hate myself or others now, yet I know now how hard it is to maintain good contact with those in your life. When you're in therapy, your soul is exposed to others, and they pick it clean until it shines again. I learned that you never love someone more than when you're lost in self-pity. However, there's no limit to people's generosity, and anyone who you feel hates you or is closed can be opened up so you can know them as your own mother.

Here where I live the summer isn't really a summer, instead the balmy weather is made up of people's remaining spring regrets, jelousies and self-loathings. However, for the first time as long as I can remember, there is a new swampy sort of life in the air, whereas before there was only the still-life of the electric busses or revolving-door clothing-runs downtown. People are complaining everywhere you turn, but there is a public awareness, its taking precidence over the old mantra of silence and order. People are expressing their anger in public, at overcrowded busses, over an apparently growing homeless problem (nonewithstanding the efforts of the police to transparencise poverty.)

Still, no radical changes afoot, everything is as normal, new transport routes and an overreliance on bycicles basically the same as before. There also seem to be less tourists; I've always scoffed at the Japanese tourists by the lakefront, the face of superficiality; but now there is a feeling like emptiness, too much scenery per camera-persons, or else the lakefront really looks too much the same Hope for improvement in July.